“Stay awake” is a phrase rarely uttered in my house. Nine times out of ten, it’s “Go the F**k to Sleep!” But then there are times when it’s impossible to keep the kids awake and it is terribly inconvenient for them to fall asleep on me.
I drive around for an hour trying to get my son to nap in the car. I finally give up because I’m getting to the point where I can no longer keep my eyes open. Of course, he falls asleep a block away from the house. My pleas for him to stay awake can’t be heard over his tiny snores. I open the windows. I turn up the radio and start singing Laurie Berkner at the top of my lungs. I reach back and tickle his legs when stopped at a light. Nothing.
I rock, bounce, shush, and sway my baby daughter in my Ergo for 40 minutes while her brother is in his gymnastics class, but her big eyes are wide open and taking it all in. Five minutes before class is over, she suddenly nestles her head against my chest and starts to doze. Knowing full well that as soon as I attempt to extract her from the wrap and place her in the car seat she is going to scream bloody murder (our car seat is made out of hot lava), I do my darndest to keep her up. I play with her, I poke at her, I even let her brother slobber on her, but, of course, she’s out cold. And, as predicted, as soon as she touches the car seat, she is wide awake. Apparently, her five minute snooze was enough to re-energize her for another hour and a half.
Work with me, children!