Dandelion Wishes

An essential part of being a kid is picking yellow dandelions and giving them to everyone you know.  As a parent and former teacher, I have received my fair share of dandelion bouquets, worn dandelions in my hair, and even put dandelions in a vase full of water.

But the quintessential part of being a kid is picking the whitest, fluffiest dandelions you can find, making a wish, and blowing off every last possible seed (stomping on them is super fun too).

05-05-2013 DandelionsAs a grownup, I now know the effects of making those wishes, as more and more dandelions sprout up all over our lawn.  But, I still know the magic that lies within and don’t feel that I have the right to stand in the way of anyone’s wishes.

And so, my children pick their dandelions, both yellow and white.  And so, I do my best to appreciate every bouquet, hair decoration, and centerpiece I am given.  And so, I watch both in horror and in wonder as hundreds of new dandelion seeds take their journey in my backyard and beyond.

My neighbors must hate me.

Mommy Fail: Misadventures with Tomato Sauce

I’ve been a mom now for four years now.  You would think that will all of this experience I would have learned one of the most basic rules of parenting: Never ever give your children spaghetti AFTER they have had their bath.

When you do, this is what happens:

spaghetti 1

And then this:

spaghetti 2

Duh.

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For more of Amy’s misadventures with tomato sauce, click here: sauce 1 ed

Mama Foofed!

My daughter, Bear, had quite a vocabulary by 17 months of age.  At 17 1/2 months, she was trying to put two words together, but they were often separated by a very large pause as she tried to connect the two ideas in her head.

One evening a few weeks ago, I took Bear upstairs to put her to bed.  I decided that it would be best to go to the bathroom before getting stuck under a baby for the next hour or so.  I happened to, well, um, pass some gas, which my family has given the endearing term “foofing.”  It wasn’t a remarkable foof (rhymes with hoof) or anything – just your average, every day, run of the mill foof.

Bear giggled.  “Foof!” she exclaimed.  And she laughed some more.  “Mama!”

“Yes, honey, Mama foofed.  Excuse me.”

“Foof… … … Mama… … … Mama… … … Foof… … … Foof… … … Mama… … … Foof.”

“Yes, Bear, Mama foofed.”

“Mama… Foof.  Foof.  Foof.  Mama… Foof.”

“I know, love.  Mama foofed.”

“Mama foof!”

Her first true sentence.

“Mama foof!  Mama foof!  Mama foof!”

“Yeah, I know.  Mama foofed.  That’s enough now.  Time for bed.”

2013-03-17 Mama foofI brought her into the bedroom and began nursing her down for the night.  She got drowsy and I thought that she was nearing sleep.  All of a sudden, she popped off, sat up, and yelled, “MAMA FOOF!”

She was so proud.

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Note: Since that day, Bear has made sure to report everyone’s foofs – mine, her Papa’s, Monkey’s, and even her own.  No one can escape.  And it is now impossible to blame your foof on the baby.  Perhaps we should reconsider getting a dog

 

1,461 Days (A Letter To My Son on His Fourth Birthday)

My Dear Son,

For 1,461 days I have held your hand, carried you close, and stroked your hair.

For 1,461 days I have wiped away your tears, kissed your boo boos, wrestled with you, and tickled you until your belly ached.

For 1,461 days I have nursed you, nourished you, protected you, and bonded with you.

For 1,461 days I have watched you grow, learn, and develop your own unique personality.

For 1,461 days I have laughed with you, cried with you, and worried sick about you.

For 1,461 days I have cheered you on when you won and comforted you when you lost.

For 1,461 days I have watched you become more confident, develop a sense of humor, learn how to share and play well with others, and grow your imagination.

2013-02-18 Collage

Photo on left: One minute old, February 18, 2009 / Photo on right: 4 years old, February 18, 2013

For 1,461 days I have pushed you to explore the world and have offered a warm lap and open arms when it was too much. For 1,461 days I have rocked you, walked with you, and driven you in circles just so you could get the rest you needed.

For 1,461 days I have cooked for you and re-cooked for you when you weren’t happy with the first selection.

For 1,461 days I have watched you crawl, walk, run, jump, hop, and ride a bicycle.

For 1,461 days I have slept by your side, listened to you breathe, and rested my hand on your beating heart.

For 1,461 days I have read to you, played with you, given you opportunities to investigate and make your own discoveries, and tried to empower you with knowledge.

For 1,461 days I have sung to you, made up stories for you, and listened to your every word.

For 1,461 days I have wished for you, prayed for you, and dreamed big dreams for you.

For 1,461 days I have loved you more and more.

For 1,461 days you have made my world… this world… a better place.

Happy fourth birthday, my darling boy.

Love,

-Mama

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Peeing in the Tub

I always make Monkey go potty before he gets into the bathtub.  Usually, he complies.  Sometimes, he goes and then once he sits in the water, he looks suspicious – as if he hadn’t completely finished emptying his bladder yet.

Monkey and Bear often bathe together (at what point does that become weird?).  I have asked Monkey repeatedly to not pee in the tub, especially if his sister is in there with him.  Now, of course, I can guarantee that his sister pees in the tub almost every time, but he doesn’t need to know that.

After a very messy finger and toe painting experience, I plunked both of them in the bath.  He promised me that he didn’t need to pee.  I made sure that I asked him before I put the drain cap on.  We got all the paint off with the shower sprayer first and then I filled up the tub.

peeing in the tub ed

The kids had fun playing in the bath, as usual.  Suddenly, he gave me the look.  I gave him the “Don’t you dare do it” look that all moms eventually perfect.  He went back to playing and presumably holding it in.  A few minutes later, Bear decided she was done with her bath.  “Mama?  Now that she’s out, can I pee in the bath?”  Then, this is what happened.

Me: Why don’t you hop out and pee in the potty.

Monkey: I don’t think I can do that.

Me: Did you already go?

Monkey: A little… can I?

Me: If you must.

Monkey: I must.

I turned away to get Bear all wrapped up in her towel, so I wasn’t concentrating on what Monkey was doing.  Suddenly, he began to shout, “Mama!  Quick!  I need a towel!”

Me: What’s wrong?  Did you splash water on your face again?

Monkey: No!  I just peed in my eye!

Me: WHAT?  You peed in your eye?

Monkey: I peed in my eye!  Give me a towel!

Me (unwrapping Bear from her towel and tossing it over): How in the world did you pee in your eye?

Monkey: I don’t know, but it kind of hurt.  Let’s just let the water go down and I’ll just pee down the drain instead.

 

Told you peeing in the bath wasn’t a good idea.

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The Ace Bandage

Last week, I had a small procedure done on my right wrist.  When it was over, the doctor wrapped my wrist in an ace bandage and advised me to keep it dry.  In his mind, I’m sure he meant for me to take off the bandage or wrap it in a plastic bag when I showered.

2013-01-28 ace bandage edLittle did he know that I barely shower, so it wouldn’t really be an issue.

What he should have advised me was to keep it away from avocado, chili, ketchup, spaghetti sauce, chocolate ice cream, and boogers.

The Tomato Sauce Incident

Some people say that if you have trouble opening a jar, you should gently tap on the lid.  Have you ever tried it?  I think I had in the past, but I also combined it with running the lid under hot water, using one of those rubber no-slip grip type things, and eventually giving up and waiting for my husband.  Someone, however, apparently taught my one-year old daughter, Bear, exactly how to do it.

After yet another exhausting trip to the grocery store where we went for four things (one we purchased, two they didn’t have, and one we forgot) and ended up with a cartful of randomness, we came home in the pouring rain.  I got the groceries inside, set my son, Monkey, off to play and Bear decided she wanted to help me empty the shopping bags which were sitting on the floor in the living room.

I heard a tapping sound and realized that what Bear was holding sounded fragile.  I peeked my head out of the kitchen and found her banging the lid of one of the jars of tomato sauce on the ground.  It made a cool sound, as evidenced by the giant grin on her face.  I gently tried to redirect by handing her the unbreakable plastic container of mayonnaise.  She was less than pleased.

I stood up with the jar in hand, not realizing that it was upside down.  Kaboooooom!  The lid apparently couldn’t withstand the pressure and flew off the jar, launching tomato sauce everywhere.

Monkey came running and Bear immediately dove in to start finger painting.  Then, in walks my husband.  What a sight to come home to!

sauce 1 ed

Papa stripped Bear down and I sopped up as much sauce as I could from the floor.  I was already wearing half the jar (you should have seen my pants!).  It looked like a crime scene from Law & Order.  *gung, gung*

sauce 2 edI tried to clean myself up once the floor was under control.  No amount of paper towels was going to do the trick.  I plunked myself in the shower, clothes and all.

So, if you ever have trouble opening a jar, just let me know.  I know a one-year old who will be more than happy to do it for you!

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The sky’s the limit, kid.

The doorbell rang.  Dinner had arrived.

Monkey ran to the door with his new Hess helicopter in one hand and an airplane in the other.  “Mama? Can I show him my new helicopter?!”

The delivery guy looked in and said, “Ooh, nice helicopter and plane!” as Monkey zoomed them around.

“Thanks!” said Monkey, beaming.

12-06-2013 Ikea Hess ed“Do you want to be a pilot some day?” asked the delivery guy, thinking he had asked the appropriate question given what he was observing.

Monkey turned on him.  His eyes glowed red and it was only a matter of time before the lasers began shooting out.

Then, in a “There is no Monkey, only Zuul” type voice, he shouted, “I DO NOT WANT TO BE A

PILOT!  I WANT TO WORK AT IKEA!”

The delivery guy chuckled, but all I could think about was …

Mmm… free Swedish meatballs…

New Year’s Eve: A Love/Hate Relationship

I hate a love/hate relationship with New Year’s Eve.

I love it as a chance to start over. A clean slate. An opportunity to start eating healthier, exercising, and… well, who am I kidding, that lasts about a week. I love reflecting on the past, leaving it behind, and looking to the future.

I hate it, though, because the event itself has, on many occasions, let me down. I have never been to Times Square. I have never had to pick confetti out of my hair. I have never gotten dressed up and gone to a gala or a ball. As I write this, my best friend is wearing a gold dress and dancing the night away at her sister-in-law’s New Year’s Eve wedding extravaganza. I must admit, I am a little jealous.

I am currently sitting on my couch in my pajamas watching SVU on my DVR while both kids sleep and my husband is snoozing on the couch in the other room. As he said to Monkey before bed, “This is the holiday where your mother wakes me up 10 minutes before midnight to watch the ball drop. Then I kiss her and go back to sleep.” Yep. That about sums it up.

My expectations for this night have always been too high. I expect pomp and circumstance and rarely get it. Now, not every year has been miserable. I have been to fun parties with friends and family and I have very fond memories of those nights. But life as a parent of two little ones (who don’t sleep well enough to be left with a babysitter) make the celebration, well, different.

Today was just another day. Nothing special really happened. We played, we ate, we ran some errands. As the evening approached I realized that it was New Year’s Eve and we had no plans. We weren’t getting dressed up. We weren’t going out. We didn’t even have champagne in the house. Something had to change. Something had to make this day unique.

I had nothing for dinner so I decided to order fat cats* from the “Grease Truck” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grease_Trucks) turned restaurant over at Rutgers University. I asked my husband to light a fire in the fireplace. We sat down in front of the fire and ate our fat cats picnic style while Bear tried to blow out the flames.

NYE 1 ed

After dinner, Monkey ran into the kitchen and raided the snack drawer. He came back elated. “We have marshmallows! We have marshmallows!” And so we did. A few sticks later, marshmallows were toasting. Once are bellies were overly full, what better thing to do than have a dance party!

Although we were already having fun, it was time to get even sillier. I ran into the bathroom and grabbed a new bag of cotton balls. I snuck some into Monkey’s hand, whispered into his ear, then ambushed Papa and Bear with “snowballs.” We had a huge snowball fight and lots of giggles.

NYE 2 ed

Not a party without hats or crudité, you say? Well, Monkey ended up taking his pants off and wearing them on his head. I’ve been to parties before where that exact thing happened. So yep, definitely a party! Finally, the kids took a bath and went to sleep. Of course, I am curious as to which one of them will wake up at 11:58 pm.

So, although I’m in flannel pants and a t-shirt and not an evening gown, although everyone around me is sleeping right now and I’m alone with my television and my thoughts, although there is no champagne in my house, and although I just pulled a piece of macaroni out of my hair rather than confetti, I am content. I was content last year when my New Year’s Eve was spent sampling fancy cheeses in my living room with my husband and I am content this year after having had a fat cat picnic with a dance party and snowball fight.

Once again, my expectations were high – different, but high. I wanted this day to be special. I wanted to remember New Years Eve 2012. More importantly, I wanted my kids (Monkey at least) to remember New Years Eve 2012. Without a plan, without pomp, without circumstance, I believe we accomplished that goal. As I kissed Monkey goodnight, he said, “Mama? That was a really fun picnic. And Papa and I got to warm up in front of the fire after my bath. And, can we have another snowball fight tomorrow morning?” Yes, yes we can.

At 11:50 pm, I’ll be waking my husband up to ring in the New Year with me. And perhaps we will even crack open the bottle of Martinelli’s sparkling cider I found in the basement when I went to put the laundry in the dryer a few minutes ago.

From my family to yours, have a happy, healthy, and prosperous new year filled with laughter, love, and silliness.

*A fat cat, for those of you who don’t know, is a disgustingly delicious sandwich that I will not be able to eat starting tomorrow when I start my diet… again. It’s a large roll with 2 cheeseburgers, lettuce, tomato, onion, ketchup, mayonnaise, and French fries all on the same bun. You feel so bloated and ill after eating it, but you just. can’t. stop. Check out all of the “Fat” sandwiches here: http://www.grubhub.com/nyc/jimmys-grill-new-brunswick/?showSmallSearchWidget=Y

Reflections on the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting

Like so many others, I am baffled, horrified, grief-stricken, and angry at the events that took place at Sandy Hook Elementary School on Friday.

Tragic events like this often cause us to stop and take stock in our own lives.  I did just that and realized that in the grand scheme of things:

Does it really matter that my son spilled a bowl of popcorn on the floor not soon after I finished vacuuming?

Does it really matter that my daughter caused an avalanche of books right after I put them all back on the shelf?

Does it really matter that both of my children knocked over piles of freshly folded laundry causing me to have to start all over again?

No.  It doesn’t.

Yes, those things are annoying.  Yes, they are time consuming.  Yes, I would rather they didn’t happen.

But, I still get to hold my children.  I still get to nurse them and wipe their noses and tend to their booboos.  I still get to comfort them back to sleep and applaud their latest accomplishments.  I still get to wrestle and tickle them and have early morning pillow fights with them.  I still get to tuck them in at night, smother them with hugs and kisses, and tell them I love them.

Many others are not so lucky.

This school shooting hit very close to home for me.  As a former elementary school teacher myself, I remember practicing our lock down drills – cramming 18-20 students into a small bathroom, crouching down in the dark, and trying to remain quiet and still.  They were drills, nothing more.  But they were scary.  Many of the kids thought it was silly and fun and I would have to control their giggles.  Many wondered why we had to go through this and looked concerned.  I never liked these drills.  My heart pounded each time and I would have to be calm and reassuring to the students while inside I was freaking out a bit.  That being said, I’m still glad we did them.  Knowing what to do in a situation like this is what helped save many lives at Sandy Hook Elementary.  The teachers were prepared.  They knew where to go and what to do and they did so calmly and in an orderly manner.  And by doing this, they kept as many students as they could alive.

The hardest thing for me as a parent right now is that I tell my children that it is my job as their mommy to keep them safe.  It is my job to protect them.  It is my job to keep them out of danger.

But then, something like this happens, and that concept is shattered.  If I’m not there, there is nothing I can do.  It is then that we have to put our faith in others.  We trust that those who care for our children will do whatever they can to keep them safe, to protect them, and to keep them out of danger.

Several teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary proved that on Friday.

So yes, hug your children.  Hug them and squeeze them and love them and keep them safe.

Then, go hug a teacher.